18 and Knowing It All

The days of having 12, 13, 14 or more kids of more of a thing of the past; today, even four or five kids is out of the question anymore.  It seems more and more people are waiting until their late 20’s, 30’s or even their early 40’s to have children.  For what, to be more monetarily stable, career orientated first, to live their wild days before they have to take care of kids, or just to raise their one and a half to two children. The census seems to say this is the average family household now with a dog or cat.  If that’s not the age group then you’re 16 to 20 and have one or two babies already and letting your parents raise them for you, because you have no job and you feel entitled and that’s not knowing it all, otherwise your parents wouldn’t be raising them. 

The 18 year-olds have no job, are still living at home, and decided they don’t need to go to college because they’re smarter than the teachers now; thank you Google.  They live for free in some cases, come and go when they please, disrespect and disrupt the entire household, then continue to blame anything and everything on everyone else, no matter the situation.  If anyone says anything, they’ll respond with something like, “I didn’t choose to be born”.  I get it, okay, well then move out, get a job and leave me they heck alone if you can’t stand being near me, in this house and for free, or close to free.  I brought you into the world in hopes you’d be a loving, caring respectful person and not an ungrateful person who thought that they were entitled and undeserving.  

Everyone deserves to experience life, in their own way.  In doing so, you have to take responsibility fo your own actions.  Going to school, having relationships, having your own children. If you choose to have a child, raise them on your own.  It’s not wrong to ask for help, don’t expect it and don’t pass them off on your parents or grandparents, as you feel you may be entitled to do.

In some households, the grandparents are raising the babies, leaving the 18 year-olds to go and do whatever they please, because they know it all.  Of course they do!  They know a lot more than we did, because technology is growing in leaps and bounds and they’re being taught at the age of, well before birth how to use a computer, a cell phone and iPad or a tablet.  Heaven for bid they don’t get that computer time, they’ll have a screaming fit.  

No matter which child it is, the baby or the 18 year old know it all, they cause a fit if they don’t get their “screen” time in.  We as society live by this all too much, we allowed it, we made it happen.  What happened to going outside and playing on the swings or riding bikes.  The 18 year-old, not knowing it all and asking for help, not excepting it.  How can we reverse things?  What in that tiny little device makes it so appealing, that it’s so much better than a human touch, or emotion?

Pick up the phone and actually call then instead of texting; go physically hug your mom, dad, family or friends instead of sending that emoji, it really does help, it truly does.  We all send those ridiculous email forwards, or possibly post on twitter, FaceBook or Instagram for that matter, about depression, or loneliness, hatred and the facts are this, if you’re 18 and know it all, how come you don’t know that the human touch, physical voice and actual contact is much more life changing than a post on a computer. So you don’t know it all.  Depression is terrible and texting or posting doesn’t come close to sitting with someone and just listening.

If you want to make the change in this world and know it all, then be the change, call someone, be there for someone in person, hug them in person, love them. 

Dizzy

How do you know when its time to go to the doctor?  I know as a mom and my child screams there are all different types of screaming, yells, quivers and hollers.  One can be loud or soft and some can be said with a huge attitude, you know what I mean, "What! Mom!"  Sometimes you get the sibling rivalry and the often, more than not fights up and down the hallway.  Oh the good old days.  Yup, seems like yesterday.  But now that I am an adult, all grown up and girls of my own, and I have been to the doctor many, many, oh too many times to count, when do you really need to go to the Urgent Care or ER for that matter?

Urgent Care or Emergency Room, whats the difference?  The other day for instance, I was just meandering along going through some papers trying to file old papers, finally.  That boring stuff no one wants to do, well most of us, anyway I started getting dizzy, then cold sweats, real bad, I was so sweaty I had to change my pants instantly, put on shorts and started fanning myself.  Then I became so dizzy, not realizing what I was doing and unaware of the time.  I started pacing of sorts, I thought I had a fever, but checked and didn't.  It was the cold sweats that made me feel as if i had a fever.  I felt as if my head, well my brain actually, was swimming in my head, floating of sorts.  The room was silent, I didn't have any music on or the TV, and I had no headache at this time.  For those who know me, this is quite strange, I always and I mean always have some sort of a headache.  I normally get migraines so this was quite different for me. Then in an instant I was nauseous, ran to the bathroom and nothing, up in my throat, burning, and still nothing, dry heaves, twice and still nothing.  It was acid reflux of sorts, but yet nothing. What comes next?  I am faint, a dizzy spell again, can't think, cold sweats, unaware of what's really going on and oh I had a massive sciatica attack to the point that I was in bed and hurting for the two days prior, yet at this moment I have no pain there at all. It all seems as if the pain had disappeared just at this time because all my energy and efforts were pointing to the fact that I had no idea that the Hell had been going on except the fact that I was feeling, well, out of sorts; not me. 

My youngest daughter comes in to ask me something, nope, no clue still now what she had asked me and I say to her, go tell your sister that I need her to take me to the Urgent Care, I feel like crap. She asked me if I was okay and I just said nope.  My older one comes in and says what's going on?  She looks and me and says, "oh mom, you look like crap."  Gee, thanks and I feel like it, I tell her.  Anyway, she say to me that yes, we need to go and I grab my stuff and off we go.  I was so dizzy that I could barely walk out the door.  I was walking quite slowly and to the side.  Holy shit, I have never, ever in my life felt like this, well that I recall, remember if you had been following me, I did have brain surgery back in 2005.  I have no idea what the hell was going on.  I seriously thought I was having a heart attack or mini-stroke, after all I did try to google the symptoms, yup me, dr. mom.  Scared the shit out of me, to the point that I knew something was wrong.  I was so scared that I went to the Urgent Care instead of the ER.  Yup, crazy me.  No chest pains or numbness in the arm, no headache, so I figure the Urgent care was the place to go.

Walk into Urgent Care and they knew something was up, we do the normal routine, insurance cards, triage, and then comes in the doctor.  He starts asking me questions and me, I thought I was doing a great job of telling him what I thought the problem was and I can vaguely remember him keep looking at my daughter and thinking why.  She finally tells me that he looked scared, like he had no idea what was wrong.  Well shit!  She tells me I was taking 30-60 seconds to answer him when he asked me a question.  Ohhh, who knew?!  I thought I was right there.  I would tell him I felt that was for about 20 minutes or so when in fact I had been there for 45 minutes already, hmmm, well add another 30 minutes on top of that and that would be how long I was feeling that way.  Again, I had no idea of time, none.  In the end, I am still somewhat confused as to the diagnosis, not sure if I had an actual seizure, but it seems to be the fact that my medicines were off.  The seizure medicines I take from the brain tumor that is still in fact, in tact in my brain, ugh.  Go figure.  All that and that's all he had to say.

Now I wonder, should I have gone to the ER?  Did he do everything he should have?  He did run a CAT scan.  I do feel a lot better now, but still looking back, would it have been better for me, yes more expensive, but the fact that they could have checked all of my blood levels, oh and done an EKG, etc. because I know the Urgent Care didn't.   I can't undo what's been done, but I do think that next time it's the ER, just to be safer. Which one would pick?  Live, laugh and love        

The survey says...

Have you ever taken a personality test, career placement test one of those types?  You know the kind I'm talking about.  The type of test that tells you who you already know you are.  There are so many different varieties of tests out there.  You should be able to sit there all day and take them, well maybe for a month straight.  These surveys or tests so to speak are the types that many of us have already taken in school or at a job interview.  I know I did a few years back when I went for a job interview to sell insurance and stocks and bonds.  I guess they wanted more of a blue personality type than myself.  Me, I'm more the orange with some gold, lol.  I am a people person and a true salesman(woman).  I love to help and volunteer and will only sell something I believe in.  I guess they knew that by me taking that test?  Who knows.

Back in my school days, I had to a placement test to figure out where I belonged on which education level for college.  Who knew that would happen.  Then they pop you in a class to have you "see" where your current interests were.  Do you love the outdoors, going camping, putting projects together, baseball, swimming, watching TV, kids, talking, coloring things of that nature.  I can remember it coming out stating I should be a kindergartner teacher, yeah, not.  I had two small children at that time.  I didn't want to teach all day then go home and have my kids too.  I do love little kids, but all day long and ohh if I got sick, no way.  Are these surveys or test really that true or even close?  Where do they get they results from anyway?

Testing us to see what we like, hmmm?  I like ice cream, but it doesn't like me all the time.  Does this mean I should answer yes to the question?  If I am allergic and I put no, will this alter my results of course it will then I might look like a prude.  When 'they" say that "they" are comparing us to the general population based on results taken in past tests.  Where did they get these from?  Did they survey an entire city, town or state?  Did they survey a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere?  Did they survey all the major cities in the entire US or free world for that matter?  I have no idea, "they" have never told me, have "they" told you?  I love to take the tests just to see if I have changed tastes or if I am the same person I was 10 years ago.  Of course I know my personality is the same, but we all change a little bit from time to time.  How many of you have taken one of those tests that are long drawn out and are so boring you have to get up every five minutes just to breathe?  Did you like the green apple or the red apple?  Me I love apples of all types, heck I love fruit.  OK, now I'm hungry and want to eat because I have been here typing all morning, no not that this is that long, it's that I wrote it and forgot to save it so I had to retype the entire thing.  

Before I go and actually eat you should take a test and just see.  There are several of them out there.  Quick ones and long drawn out ones.  In any case, you can at least read on what the different levels and types of personalities there are.  Maybe you and your other half are perfect for each other and can tweak a few things, this may help you learn about each other in ways you never knew.  Maybe you never knew that one of the downfalls of you personality was that you just sucked at listening, well work on it or vice-versa.  You are a great listener but have a difficult time giving-in to others.  I know its hard, believe me.  I do it all the time and I try very hard all the time and being the best person I can.  If you follow my blog you know I was married and have since divorced, well we were like oil and water most of the time.  If he had taken any of these tests maybe I could have worked harder, but I know for a fact the end result would have been the same, because marriage is a two-way street.  He would have never compromised anything and this was one of the thing that split us apart.  Every has to give because everyone has to take from a relationship, no matter the type.   Marriage, mother-child, child-child any of them.  Oh go ahead just search a few out and take them, read up on them.  If your other half, kids whoever won't then do it for them, make the educated guess and see what comes up, you may be surprised to see what the end results are.  You may just find yourself living much happier with those around you.  Did you ever wonder why you bumped heads so much, well now is your chance.  Live laugh, and love

Respect

Where the hell did this basic ingredient in life go to? I know that when I was growing up that my father made sure, no he INSISTED that I not only knew the meaning, that  I practiced it every day and with everyone, and everything I came in contact with. When I addressed someone,  it was yes sir, yes ma’am.  When I was at someone else’s house, or better yet when I was in a retail store? I did not even think about touching something that did not belong to me. When I wanted something, I asked, yes ASKED for it; I did not ever TELL someone that I wanted something. I always used PLEASE and THANK YOU. When adults were speaking, I did not interrupt. When I had something to say or ask, I always said EXCUSE ME.

Now that I am an adult, I always say hello, hold doors, and respect others space. I still say all of those things I used to say when I was a kid, only now I feel I am setting an example for others to follow. The  problem?  There seems to be a majority set of adults who are the exact opposite and this works against me.

I work in retail, where I HAVE to be a people person.  I work in an area where people are not so nice to each other, the people around them, the things that do not belong to them, or even themselves for that matter. No, really, no I am not a negative person. I love life, and I love a lot about life and what it offers.  I do know a lot of people  who are not this way, but it really seems that everywhere I look and listen; I tend to see the examples being shown to the next generations.  It may be too late, as this generation learned it from the previous.

Self-centered and selfish. I see it in the way people drive. Constantly cutting off someone else to make the exit or turn for something that is NOT an emergency. No matter the risk of their own lives, or others. Constantly texting and face booking while driving. Just because it is legal does not make it right or SAFE. I had someone cut me off from the LEFT lane of the highway and practically STOP in front of me while I was doing 65mph. All because they HAD to get off at THAT exit and no other. Tailgating- constantly I see people driving up other cars asses with no regard to the conditions ahead of the vehicle they are tailgating. Then when they decide to risk everything, they pull up next to you and flip you off like you did something wrong. Did you not see the line of cars ahead of me? 

Ever look around a store while you are shopping at the other customers? Ever watch and see what they do and what they say? Or how they treat the employees in that store? Have you ever seen the way some people will do ANYTHING to save, no STEAL a few dollars from that store? I have watched seemingly educated and refined people touch and feel merchandise because they lack respect for it. Not because they were interested in buying it. Only to check it out, leave fingerprints, test its sturdiness, and of course find fault with it. I have seen people purposely damage items to save money on it. I have watched people remove the price, switch price tags, and place them elsewhere in the store.  I have heard customers raise their voice to store employees, and complain when they cannot receive a discount for something that was just built and placed on the sales floor. I mean really? They should have been CHARGED for the assembly! The absolute worst thing I have seen in retail? Parents teaching their children that this behavior is OK! There are parents who send their kids into back offices, break rooms and locker rooms of businesses looking for things of value and money!  Wonder why those kids are getting in trouble at school? Maybe they raised their voice when they did not get their way? Maybe they got caught CHEATING because they wanted to be GIVEN the answers to their test? Or just maybe, they cut off the next kid in line for their lunch? People will go into retail stores, and literally throw merchandise onto the floor and walk away. Packages opened, and left sitting somewhere it did NOT come from. Pushing shopping carts into merchandise, shelving, all the while talking on their cell phone or texting. I swear of I pulled any of this when I was a child? I would have had my ass beat right there in front of everyone, and then I would have been made to apologize to everyone around me.

Respect for your job, the people who you work for and with? Why do people think it is OK just to not show up for work? To call without much notice and tell you that they cannot make it because they “do not feel well?” or that “they do not have a babysitter?”  To just stop showing up because they felt like it? No one twisted their arm into taking the job. No one they work with did anything against them. Yet, they have no sense of respect to the people they work with, for, and to the customers who all counted on them to show up to do their job? When you are a manager for a job, someone who should be setting the example, why would you show up late? And then tell your boss that you read the schedule wrong? Then go out and write up the person under you for doing the exact same thing?

Everyone acts as if they are above everyone else.  The attitudes I see out there every day from people reminds me of the commercial where the woman is in the parking lot thinking she owns a Rolls Royce and she really owns a station wagon. And she wants to know why her remote is not opening this car? The point of the commercial was to feel rich, but the aura of the woman portrayed exactly what I am getting at in this rant about the way our society has become.  Walking around and screaming into a cell phone so that the people on the other side of the restaurant or store can clearly hear your conversation? And then when an employee walks by you rudely ask them about something not remotely close to or related to anything you are looking at. Just to make yourself feel more special?

Now, I know these behaviors are everywhere, but they are more exemplified in more areas than others. The next question I have for everyone who reads this is, when will this stop? When will people remember what it is like to be respectful of one another? When will people remember to be less selfish? When will people realize that these behaviors are what contribute to the daily drama and negativity of the world? It has to start in the home. It has to start with adults setting an example and teaching their children to do the right thing. What will it take for ADULTS in this day and age to make these changes? Would it really be that difficult to accomplish? I will do my part, and continue to use the traits instilled in me by my  father. And when I have kids in my home I will teach them the same way. I will remember to treat everyone I know with respect, and hopefully, others will see that it still exists and follow suit.

What about you? What will you do to make a change? 

~ respectfully submitted to me by JEB

Working out

Working out.  How do you define working out?  What do you do to work out?  Do you go to the gym or walk in the park or go to the local high school and swim?  Me personally, I go to the gym.  I love to work out.  I know it sounds crazy but I feel when I don't work out I feel like I'm cheating.  Almost as if I did something guilty!  I have some friends who go swim a few times a week at the local high school and enjoy that very much.  I know that burns a lot of calories.  I own a pool, but I would freeze my butt off about now since its 40-50 degrees out, oh and my pool is outside.  I would love an indoor pool or one with a solarium.  That would be the best, then swimming all the time would be great.  

Other people I know love to just go walk.  They walk wherever they can, in the park or the mall.  It's great, and free.  It's not easy getting motivated by yourself a few times a week to stay on track and keep yourself fit.  There are mall walkers clubs all over.  I see signs for them.  Check it out the next time you are at the local mall.  The Gallerias usually have them, for the most part before the regular mall hours start and this is a very good idea because its indoor, so the weather is perfect, plus when you are done, you can go shopping if you want to.  Not that I would, because I would be a bit sweaty, well maybe not, depending upon how fast I was walking.  Walking is the best the you can do for you along with eating healthy.  Working out in general is the best thing you can do for your body, just don't over do it.  

The other day I was at lunch with my girl friend and I ran into another friend of mine.  He says to me how good I look and I returned the compliment, because he looked amazing.  I ask him where he has been that I haven't seen him at the gym, but we usually don't run into each other much there has he has a crazy schedule.  He tells me that his body has plateaued and he is no longer trimming down like he wants to.

Well if you are reading this and you know anything about working out or don't, then you will want to know that you need to change how you work out.  When I mean change I don't mean daily or weekly.  I mean your body becomes accustomed to how you work out and then it will peak and stop burning and trimming down.  This is when you have to just switch your routine around, do it backwards or add something new, take something away, just do something different.  It's tricking your body into thinking its learning new routines and then it will burn, shape and trim again.  This is why if you go to a trainer or gym where they have trainers, they tell you not to work on abs or legs etc. more than three times in the same week.  It won't make a difference.  Our bodies learn quick, we are people of nature, as so are our bodies.  We learn fast, well our bodies do, us, we are quite pig-headed most of us and take quite a while to let things sink in.  Those of us reading this know exactly what I mean.  

When you work out, don't go crazy, just have fun, enjoy and change it up.  You will get more than just a great work out.  You will stay fit, have a great body and not become bored with the same routine.  If you go to the gym, go there a few times plus if you have a local high school that has free swim, go there once a week this will add to your workout all the way around.  Go do and learn new things, enjoy what you do, meet new people and have fun.  Don't be a bump on a log, get up and get out there.

Enjoy, stay fit, be happy and healthy!

Giving back to the needy

Giving back to the needy is something I do quite often.  Not only do I give monetarily, but I volunteer a lot.  Sometimes too much I have been told.  Lately I have evaluated my life and decided to curtail my volunteering quite a bit.  I have condensed what I do and decided to only volunteer at one museum instead of two and for one church rather than three or four.  I know, where did I get the time.  I do not go to church every week, but love when I do go.  I recently helped scrape and repaint the entire basement and food pantry of a local church, the proceeded to make 12' X 9' curtains along with six matching sets of panels for the windows that were all bare in the basement.  This was where the functions took place, so having bare windows was quite creepy.  It looks incredible now for them plus gives them privacy.  Prior to that the paint had been there so long, that it was actually falling off the walls.  One of my best girlfriends had been going there for years and asked if I would help her out, well of course she knew I would, one because she is one of my best friends and two they seriously needed the help.  A small local church that only depends on what small contributions they receive during tidings.  I received great joy and pleasure in making the curtains and painting for them and especially seeing the look on all their faces when it was done.  Just the pure appreciation from them was incredible.  A few others jumped in and helped paint from time to time and one other person paid for the paint.  I found this to be wonderful.

Yesterday, Sunday, I went to service and not to preach, because I do not by any means, believe me, but its been a while since I was there. A man was talking about having a class to talk about giving,  people who give too much, BINGO, were they talking to me, lol!  I inquired about this later of course to find out what this was about, just being curious.  It is just a short class about why we give to people, the needy.  Do we do it because we need to ourselves, are we a servant or a sucker? Holy crap!  Okay, I can handle that, am I a sucker.  I an sitting here laughing, no really I give all the time, up until recently, like I said.  I guess I was supposed to go yesterday.  It had been at least 5 weeks or so since I had been to a service.  I mentioned before I get sick and in a lot of pain, so I don't leave my home quite often in the winter months.

I guess I will stop by this class just to "check it out".  Boy am I a sucker or what, lmao!  I will help the needy as long as the needy can help themselves.  If you, anyone for that matter, is in need, any time in their lives, because, I for one know, we all need a hand from time to time, physically, emotionally, mentally or otherwise unstated, I will help you, but if you are unwilling to help yourself, I will not come back and help you again.  This in my mind means you are unwilling to help yourself move forward in your life.  I will cut the cord and let you fly on your own.  It is hard, yes, but I have done it and tough love is the way it has to be.  Social Services should be a stepping stone not a way of life.  In my eyes, there should be a limit, whether a time limit or monetary limit, there should be one.  Send them to school, job place them, give them day care, something, not a permanent crutch.  Life is too short and people get stuck in ruts way to fast.  Give a man fish and feed them for a day, teach a man to fish and feed them for a life time.