North or South

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It doesn't matter how many times I look out the window on Christmas, I don't think it will snow here for me.  This doesn't change anything does it?  Heck yes it does!  I feel like it changes everything for me.  I know it doesn't but, it seems as if going from the North to the South just changed so many things, but most of all Christmas.  I am used to it being cold, brisk and somewhat windy.  It usually snows, okay, it hardly every snows, but the last few years it has been snowing and it's been great.  The blinding rain and ice is what it usually does, still, come on, it's the North.  Good old fashioned Christmas.  That's what it is.  Brrrr, freeze my tush off, send the kids outside, bake cookies and have friends come over the next day or three for left-overs.  The South, well not-so-much.

I moved over the summer, basking hot July, not the best time to move in the heat, but it was the time I had.  Me and my girls, both graduated from high school and away we went to start our new lives.  I merged with my boyfriend, who came up from Florida.  I know, he's now going to freeze and I will sweat, lol.  That is where your wrong.  I am still cold and he is sweating, believe it or not.  I am cold blooded, freezing all the time, and could live in the tropics for sure.  He, on the other hand, is perfectly fine here.  I have no idea why I am this way, I am always cold.  In any case, it's just gorgeous here and we love it.  But, Christmas is here and I miss the snow, the feel I suppose of it, what it seems for the season of Christmas.  My family is back North, well most of them and my friends, so I miss them also.  Its very hard all the way around.  That's it, just all of it.  I know we will all get used to it, never, and I suppose they can come visit us here at the awesome beach, when they have a vacation.  It's just that time of year we all get that blah feeling like we have to have everyone next to us and the fire going, with the snow on the ground, and a cozy blanket, not watching the surfers.  Unless of course that's where you were raised and are used to that, then I suppose it would be weird not to have it.

So I ask you are you a North or a South?  I was born a North, but now I'm a South and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Waste… of time?

                                                               

 

I wrote this paper March 14, 2002 during college and it will never be a dying subject.

Waste.  Is it a waste of time?  How many of us recycle? I mean actually recycle. How many of us care?  I mean care about the future.  Does recycling really work?  Do the landfills really recycle?  These are just a few questions that come to mind when I think of garbage, refuse, trash, debris or any other word that means waste.  We live day to day without a notion about where or how waste is disposed of.  Should we have to worry about recycling?  It’s not our duty to make sure the landfills are doing their jobs, or is it?  If we stopped for one instant and thought about it, we’d realize that it is our job, because we all live on this planet together and created the waste to begin with.

“Americans generate more waste every year, growing from 247 million tons of non-hazardous waste in 1990 to 490 million tons in 2001”, according to Biocycle magazine, an industry publication.  According to the website,” Americans generate trash at an astonishing rate of four pounds per day per person, which translates to 600,000 tons per day or 210 million tons per year!”  (www.howstuffworks.com). They continue to say that this is almost twice as much trash per person than in most other major countries. The majority of this trash is buried in landfills.

What is a landfill?  It is a carefully designed structure built into or on top of the ground in which trash is isolated from the surrounding environment such as groundwater, air, or rain.  This isolation is accomplished with a bottom liner and a daily covering of soil.  There are two types of landfills: sanitary and municipal solid waste landfill.  The sanitary landfill uses a clay liner to isolate the trash environment and the municipal solid waste landfill uses a synthetic or plastic liner to isolate the trash environment.  A landfill does not decompose garbage quickly.  When a landfill closes, it must be watched and evaluated for 30 years after the closing. 

We need to recycle.  By recycling, we will reduce the amount of trash that needs to be buried. In 1991, the U.S. population was 249,439,545 and (mostly) municipal waste, which was generated in tons, was 293,613,000, with 11.5% if it recycled.  In 2001, the population was 286,345,000 with 409,029,000 tons of mostly municipal waste and 32% was recycled.  According to the website, “Although 32% of municipal waste is reported as recycled, there are two problems with this; one, is the EPA estimated in 1998 at municipal waste was only two percent of all waste generated.  Secondly, the total amount waste generated, recycled, or disposed is not fully known because the EPA has not collected work to confirm that data“ (www.zerowasteamerica.org). 

Waste disposal statistics do not take into account waste that is disposed (burned or landfilled) on-site or off-site and illegitimate dumps and incinerators, which include burning barrels.  The statistics also do not include waste that is recycled and in an environmentally destructive matter, such as the so-called, "beneficial use" recyclable.

So let's say you do recycle, do you really think the workers who pick up your trash put it and a separate section?  They must, because if these workers who pick up your trash, were following recycling regulations, the percentage of recycled waste would not have nearly tripled.  Imagine what the world would be like 20 years from now, if we didn't recycle.  It's the three R’s, recycle, reduce, and reuse.

There's are numerous ways that we can cut down on waste.  Instead of buying plastic cups, forks, knives, spoons, and other disposable products, we should reuse the glasses, or silverware that we already have in your home.  Personally, I think recycling should start with manufacturers.  Some of these companies make it too easy for us to toss these products in the trash can, rather than a recycling bin.  Another example of unnecessary waste is the computer; how many of us own home computers?  What do we do with them when they become obsolete?  First off, sure, we try to resell, but when that fails, where do they go?  In the garage, basement or storage unit is usually where they end up.  We should make the big companies take them back and let them recycle the products they manufactured.

Years ago, McDonald's used to use Styrofoam containers, now they use paper.  I don't think that McDonald's decided on their own that they needed to use paper for better recycling purposes. I think environmentalists pressured them.  Maybe they saved money at the same time, and maybe not.  The one thing that I am sure of is that we all need to recycle.  Recycling will not only help the environment; it will also reduce the amount of trash in the landfills.  With more and more landfills closing, by the time our children, or children’s children grow up, there will be virtually nowhere for the trash to go. 

I can remember when I was a child, my mom used to tell me stories.  One story was about a dump close to where I live.  Many people refer to a landfill as a dump.  They are not the same.  A dump is an open hole in the ground where trash is buried and has various animals like rats, mice and birds swarming around it.  My mom used to go shooting with all of her friends at this dump when she was young.  They would shoot the rats, and mice just for fun.  The dump is no longer there, but in reality, it is, it is only covered over by dirt and plants. To this day there still is a “for sale” sign posted on the property.  It makes me wonder if the person who buys the land will be told about the dump that originally existed there.  Is the reason that the sign is still there because people know there is a dump underneath?  Is it that they don’t like the land?  The point is that we don’t know where all of the old dumps are and unless we ask, we will never know.

If we knew years ago how much recycling helped us, most old dumps would not be closed or hazardous today.   How do we know if the water we drink is contaminated by waste from old dumps? We don’t.  For that matter, how do we know if the development we live in or by wasn’t constructed over top of an old dump?  Did you ever ask?  The only way questions like this can be answered, is if we ask.  Knowing is just the beginning, but educating people around us will make them understand that recycling isn’t a waste of time.  Just remember recycling today will make tomorrow a better, cleaner, and waste-less place.  Live, laugh, and love.

Dizzy

How do you know when its time to go to the doctor?  I know as a mom and my child screams there are all different types of screaming, yells, quivers and hollers.  One can be loud or soft and some can be said with a huge attitude, you know what I mean, "What! Mom!"  Sometimes you get the sibling rivalry and the often, more than not fights up and down the hallway.  Oh the good old days.  Yup, seems like yesterday.  But now that I am an adult, all grown up and girls of my own, and I have been to the doctor many, many, oh too many times to count, when do you really need to go to the Urgent Care or ER for that matter?

Urgent Care or Emergency Room, whats the difference?  The other day for instance, I was just meandering along going through some papers trying to file old papers, finally.  That boring stuff no one wants to do, well most of us, anyway I started getting dizzy, then cold sweats, real bad, I was so sweaty I had to change my pants instantly, put on shorts and started fanning myself.  Then I became so dizzy, not realizing what I was doing and unaware of the time.  I started pacing of sorts, I thought I had a fever, but checked and didn't.  It was the cold sweats that made me feel as if i had a fever.  I felt as if my head, well my brain actually, was swimming in my head, floating of sorts.  The room was silent, I didn't have any music on or the TV, and I had no headache at this time.  For those who know me, this is quite strange, I always and I mean always have some sort of a headache.  I normally get migraines so this was quite different for me. Then in an instant I was nauseous, ran to the bathroom and nothing, up in my throat, burning, and still nothing, dry heaves, twice and still nothing.  It was acid reflux of sorts, but yet nothing. What comes next?  I am faint, a dizzy spell again, can't think, cold sweats, unaware of what's really going on and oh I had a massive sciatica attack to the point that I was in bed and hurting for the two days prior, yet at this moment I have no pain there at all. It all seems as if the pain had disappeared just at this time because all my energy and efforts were pointing to the fact that I had no idea that the Hell had been going on except the fact that I was feeling, well, out of sorts; not me. 

My youngest daughter comes in to ask me something, nope, no clue still now what she had asked me and I say to her, go tell your sister that I need her to take me to the Urgent Care, I feel like crap. She asked me if I was okay and I just said nope.  My older one comes in and says what's going on?  She looks and me and says, "oh mom, you look like crap."  Gee, thanks and I feel like it, I tell her.  Anyway, she say to me that yes, we need to go and I grab my stuff and off we go.  I was so dizzy that I could barely walk out the door.  I was walking quite slowly and to the side.  Holy shit, I have never, ever in my life felt like this, well that I recall, remember if you had been following me, I did have brain surgery back in 2005.  I have no idea what the hell was going on.  I seriously thought I was having a heart attack or mini-stroke, after all I did try to google the symptoms, yup me, dr. mom.  Scared the shit out of me, to the point that I knew something was wrong.  I was so scared that I went to the Urgent Care instead of the ER.  Yup, crazy me.  No chest pains or numbness in the arm, no headache, so I figure the Urgent care was the place to go.

Walk into Urgent Care and they knew something was up, we do the normal routine, insurance cards, triage, and then comes in the doctor.  He starts asking me questions and me, I thought I was doing a great job of telling him what I thought the problem was and I can vaguely remember him keep looking at my daughter and thinking why.  She finally tells me that he looked scared, like he had no idea what was wrong.  Well shit!  She tells me I was taking 30-60 seconds to answer him when he asked me a question.  Ohhh, who knew?!  I thought I was right there.  I would tell him I felt that was for about 20 minutes or so when in fact I had been there for 45 minutes already, hmmm, well add another 30 minutes on top of that and that would be how long I was feeling that way.  Again, I had no idea of time, none.  In the end, I am still somewhat confused as to the diagnosis, not sure if I had an actual seizure, but it seems to be the fact that my medicines were off.  The seizure medicines I take from the brain tumor that is still in fact, in tact in my brain, ugh.  Go figure.  All that and that's all he had to say.

Now I wonder, should I have gone to the ER?  Did he do everything he should have?  He did run a CAT scan.  I do feel a lot better now, but still looking back, would it have been better for me, yes more expensive, but the fact that they could have checked all of my blood levels, oh and done an EKG, etc. because I know the Urgent Care didn't.   I can't undo what's been done, but I do think that next time it's the ER, just to be safer. Which one would pick?  Live, laugh and love        

The survey says...

Have you ever taken a personality test, career placement test one of those types?  You know the kind I'm talking about.  The type of test that tells you who you already know you are.  There are so many different varieties of tests out there.  You should be able to sit there all day and take them, well maybe for a month straight.  These surveys or tests so to speak are the types that many of us have already taken in school or at a job interview.  I know I did a few years back when I went for a job interview to sell insurance and stocks and bonds.  I guess they wanted more of a blue personality type than myself.  Me, I'm more the orange with some gold, lol.  I am a people person and a true salesman(woman).  I love to help and volunteer and will only sell something I believe in.  I guess they knew that by me taking that test?  Who knows.

Back in my school days, I had to a placement test to figure out where I belonged on which education level for college.  Who knew that would happen.  Then they pop you in a class to have you "see" where your current interests were.  Do you love the outdoors, going camping, putting projects together, baseball, swimming, watching TV, kids, talking, coloring things of that nature.  I can remember it coming out stating I should be a kindergartner teacher, yeah, not.  I had two small children at that time.  I didn't want to teach all day then go home and have my kids too.  I do love little kids, but all day long and ohh if I got sick, no way.  Are these surveys or test really that true or even close?  Where do they get they results from anyway?

Testing us to see what we like, hmmm?  I like ice cream, but it doesn't like me all the time.  Does this mean I should answer yes to the question?  If I am allergic and I put no, will this alter my results of course it will then I might look like a prude.  When 'they" say that "they" are comparing us to the general population based on results taken in past tests.  Where did they get these from?  Did they survey an entire city, town or state?  Did they survey a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere?  Did they survey all the major cities in the entire US or free world for that matter?  I have no idea, "they" have never told me, have "they" told you?  I love to take the tests just to see if I have changed tastes or if I am the same person I was 10 years ago.  Of course I know my personality is the same, but we all change a little bit from time to time.  How many of you have taken one of those tests that are long drawn out and are so boring you have to get up every five minutes just to breathe?  Did you like the green apple or the red apple?  Me I love apples of all types, heck I love fruit.  OK, now I'm hungry and want to eat because I have been here typing all morning, no not that this is that long, it's that I wrote it and forgot to save it so I had to retype the entire thing.  

Before I go and actually eat you should take a test and just see.  There are several of them out there.  Quick ones and long drawn out ones.  In any case, you can at least read on what the different levels and types of personalities there are.  Maybe you and your other half are perfect for each other and can tweak a few things, this may help you learn about each other in ways you never knew.  Maybe you never knew that one of the downfalls of you personality was that you just sucked at listening, well work on it or vice-versa.  You are a great listener but have a difficult time giving-in to others.  I know its hard, believe me.  I do it all the time and I try very hard all the time and being the best person I can.  If you follow my blog you know I was married and have since divorced, well we were like oil and water most of the time.  If he had taken any of these tests maybe I could have worked harder, but I know for a fact the end result would have been the same, because marriage is a two-way street.  He would have never compromised anything and this was one of the thing that split us apart.  Every has to give because everyone has to take from a relationship, no matter the type.   Marriage, mother-child, child-child any of them.  Oh go ahead just search a few out and take them, read up on them.  If your other half, kids whoever won't then do it for them, make the educated guess and see what comes up, you may be surprised to see what the end results are.  You may just find yourself living much happier with those around you.  Did you ever wonder why you bumped heads so much, well now is your chance.  Live laugh, and love

Homesick

Have you ever been homesick?  Just sitting here writing this with the thought of being homesick knowing I am in my new home, well apartment.  I had a house, quite large, 3400 sq.ft. with a great yard, close to 4 acres.  My dogs could run whenever they wanted to and I didn't have to watch them pee or poop while holding onto a leash, good ol' fashioned country living.  Now I am living in an apartment with my bf, 2 kids and 3 dogs barely hitting 1300 sq ft.  One of us has to walk the dogs a hundred times a day because they were so used to going out all the time, at their every whim, okay maybe 3-4 times a day, but still on a leash and poor things can't run.  There are dog parks we've yet to go see and they can run there, but in the car, then back out and it's going to be a cost, ugh!  Gosh I miss my old house.  The beach is close, oh so close, no snow, well maybe, who knows it hasn't gotten to winter yet, and more than likely it won't snow, oh it better not, I left my snow blower behind, lol.

Snow and I are long time friends, but no more, I can't deal with the aches and pains anymore, my body just says no to snow.  Beach time is so much better, I can do that, oh yeah I can.  It would take me hours to go before, now 20 minutes, maybe 30.  I feel as if some of my trade offs weren't as worth it at times, maybe because I feel stuffed into a smaller space, no yard, and the dogs can't run.  I have a storage unit and noting is at my disposal in my own home as before, yes it takes me 5 minutes to get to anything and I mean anything, well besides the beach.

The shopping mall, grocery store, post office, anything food wise; it's wonderful.  Living in a perfect area is fantastic.  I love it here; I love my boyfriend; I love my kids and my dogs.  Some days I feel like I want to go home, like I'm missing something.  I cry, over what, spilled milk, pull up my big-girl panties and get my crap together, I know.  What the heck is my issue?  Is this being homesick or is this just the fact that I am so accustomed to having lived in a larger house and don't know how to downsize; my girls are both in college (still living home, phew!), my birthday is in a few days and I am getting older (40's) or maybe its menopause...no freaking way, I will have to do something about that shit now, by the way...or what?

 My ex doesn't leave me be, he has gotten better since we moved, thank goodness.  Now he only calls every few days (I am seriously jumping up and down, bring out the band)  It only took him 4 1/2 years.  I swear he forgets we are divorced.  As for my boyfriend, I know you read this, I love you very much and thank you for putting up with all of his crap as well as me being so sad lately. There is nowhere else in the world I would rather be than where I am right now. Being homesick isn't easy, I lived in the same place for 18 years and before that I still lived in the same area of well almost my entire life, so it has been very hard for me to move.  It wasn't just a home, it was a life, a lifestyle and a home.

I need something, who knows what it is but I need something.  Time will make it better and downsizing will help.  It's nearly 1/3 of the space...phew!  This is it, wow, thanks for listening and letting me figure it out.  Now that math help figure it out for me, crap, one-third, that's not a whole lot.  How do you determine which third you want to keep?  Now that I know what to do next I don't feel so homesick anymore, oh and now that I am thinking about it, guess what?  All my friends back north, well they will have to start thinking about shoveling snow soon :) beach time for me!