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The virtual world we live in

Virtual reality, such words that only ten years ago seemed far fetched. Just think, today we twitch in our seat waiting for the new Iphone or Android phone to come out with all the new gadgets intact on it or the new gaming tower with graphics and speeds, that we still complain that are "quite up to where we would like them to be". Are we freaking insane? THINK people, think back to 2003, in December, President Bush signed Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing Act of 2003 (CAN-SPAM Act), OH and you could buy music from iTunes for .99$ each.

Haha, and here we are right now complaining that our computer speeds are slow, only ten years its been that people have been spamming at rates that the government had to pass a law to control it and we (the people) are still non-stop complaining, but this is what we do. How long has Publisher's Clearinghouse been telling you that you "could be" a millionaire by snail mail? OH, have you won? Just asking, because I didn't. I figure this many years, at least someone remotely close to my town should have by now, via the snail mail.

Uhm, you do know what snail mail is, right? It's that long, or short white envelope that you put a hopefully handwritten letter in and lick (bleck, making faces as I type this) the nasty glue, close and put the never ending increase of postage stamps, affixed to the top right corner (upside down means love, at least that's what my mom used to tell me); address it; put it in your mailbox, flag up of course, then the mailman picks it up and this route takes a few days to get to the next person. I still do hand write letters and cards and mail them, by the way. I love regular mail. Let's stop the increases in postage and keep using the USPS, we wonder why it goes up. In any case, regular mail or snail mail has been around forever, well ok, a very long time. Are you still waiting for the check by the way, because that's in the mail too.

As for the internet and virtual reality, not so long. Ipods weren't even introduced into the market until 2001, that's not all that long ago, and now what generation are they on? Online service wasn't available until 1995 and this my friends was dial-up, remember the sounds, right now you are listening to them play over in your head. I can still hear them, and remember that it took, minutes, not seconds, to get one page to load. My first dial-up server was Prodigy online, yes, I should be broke by now, lol. I have been paying for internet service since ohhhh, the early 90's since I could have it. I had internet before that, but Prodigy was the first traditional on-line systems I had. I tried a couple before that. I am trying to remember, 7200 bps, and 14400 bps, I think there was a 9600 bps in there somewhere too. I know I would jump ship every time someone came out faster, the 1-2 min wait for a page to load was a huge difference.

Now that I think about it, I may still have a copy of an old bill laying around in my files somewhere for Prodigy online. The little world would show up and spin. How the memories start flowing back. I had this huge PC from Tandy, I thought I had the top of the line computer, well for the time I did, I even over-clocked it, not that anyone knew or even knows what that means. It was from 1989 and looked like an old style cash register. I still have it and it works, slow as molasses, but it works.

Today I have the new MacBookPro with the retina display well I have a PC laptop too and an iMac as well, I love technology. I love technology and how virtual reality is. It amazes me how we can play games and video chat each other miles away, nearly seamlessly with the feeling of being right next to that person. I do both of these thins quite often, friends and family. I am a true gamer at heart and love to video chat with my friends and especially my mom who lives over 1500 miles away and I miss her dearly.

Every time I sit in front of the video all I can think of is The Jetsons from when I was little and now, one day I will, I want to train my dog to run on the tread mill, so when its raining, we can take a walk indoors, lol! The visaphone I think they called it. I can remember thinking how crazy and far away this idea really was and look, I talk on Skype or Facebook or some other means of video chat several nights a week. What next flying cars? Not for nothing, but that would save on gas milage. The airline companies may not like it as much, unless they get a piece of that action, but it would definitely make my day. Virtual reality, I was just talking to a friend of mine and we had the conversation about how nice it would be to be able to one day just reach in the screen and be able to touch the person, far fetched I know, but hey, you never know. Look how far technology has come in just ten and twenty years. And let us not forget, there are cars that parallel park themselves, now this I find scary and that's a whole other story.

UPDATE 3-1-13 : I have to laugh, seriously, I just opened my laptop, which I never log off of, I just close the top. I'm not in a public place, just home, so no reason to log off or lock it most days and who pops up? Publisher's Clearinghouse...holy crap did I win? Finally, did the tracking cookies find me, here I am, you can direct deposit the check you know in this world of technology, no need to wait for that check to come via snail mail. Thanks so much, but do call to get the correct account information, thanks so much in advance PCH.

Counting your pennies

Today I was going though my usual day, just as alway. Got up, let the dogs out, coffee, coffee...oh, I said that already, well it was a rough night, I haven't slept the best lately. I was on my second cup before I even came into my office. Donut Shop in my awesome Keurig, which I just love, love. It sits on my kitchen counter and gets a lot of usage between myself and my two daughters. Can you tell? After all i am just going on and on Then I log into all the social media accounts, you know the routine, email, say my good mornings, some friends usually pop-up and say hi. It seems as if I have coffee with my friends, virtual coffee that is. On occasion, I go out and join one or two of them, which is so nice, but that ends up being an entire day, lol, then lunch. These are well needed days, but I have to prepare for these days though.

Now is about an hour or so into my morning when I come across this post or thread so to say and its about the never ending issue, pennies. Head splat along with a face plant right on the desk to the point that I have keyboard imprints on my forehead now. I am now talking to my Imac, "Are you kidding me?" What are these people taking about? Are they ever going to let this go? How long have you been counting your pennies? I have been doing this since I was a little girl and my mom was and so on, since bread was two bits. I mean geez Loiuse, no disrespect Aunt Louise, all my love to you. I miss you and haven't seen you in about a year now that I think about it.

Moving on, pennies, get rid of them, again, still, hasn't this been done, no, oh that's right they made more? I separate them when I put change in a jar prior to going to the bank to deposit it Come on, either do it or don't. I mean shit or get off the pot, I have been told that numerous times growing up. Don't talk about things, do them. Simplify, k.i.s.s. (keep it simple sweetheart) my mom would say, and then leave me be. Don't over analyze things, which I tend to do, a lot. Oh a lot, a ton and on and on. Do they need a woman to walk in there and make them get their crap together, just call me. No seriously, call me. I will clean house. Stop the freaking bickering and tabling issues, it's not that big of an issue, really. Losing money, a lot of money over long periods of time, get rid of it. Are they not looking at it in a business standpoint? You have to spend money to make money of course, but isn't it true that after five years in a business if you continue to lose money it's definitely a failure, hmmmm? Let me think? How long has the government been losing money on making pennies? Has it been that long? People either love pennies or hate them. In any case they save them before using them. If you sit and think about it you have to have four in you possession if you use them or "make them count" anyway. If you hand the cashier exact change and don't have enough then you have too many in your pocket and have to unload all the change somewhere. Then you have the cashier who won't accept the change once they put the amount into their amount into their register. What is it these days?? Just take my pennies otherwise they will get rid of them and stop hoarding them, because this is why they keep having to make more. So count your pennies and go get your dollar bills.

Full moon

Two days ago it started, more like Sunday on my crazy calendar. I can write it down in Sharpie just knowing when I am going to get a phone call or something out of the ordinary is going to happen. A full moon cycle. This is my favorite and least favorite time of the month rolled up into one.

People change, tides change, animals change, it all changes. I don't even have to look at the moon phase calendar to know if the full moon is coming or not, oh believe me! I will start getting phone calls from the ex-husband or ex-boyfriend to just "talk". They want to say hi out of the blue and see how I am doing, you know, since I am sick quite often. I mean seriously, like they ever cared before. I know you care, but did you really care. They were both they selfish type personality kind of men and yes, would ask and fully mean what they said when talking. Although within two minutes of the conversation it would turn onto them and this is what I mean by being of the selfish type. They always wanted the best for me, but in the long run ended up talking about themselves (bwahaha).

Now mix this type with a full moon...holy crap and then call me; NO, crap, crap...don't call me! I mean this is what they do. I go through this every month like clockwork, like a woman on her menstrual cycle. The agony, cramps and annoyingness. Annoyingness, is that even a word? If it is or not my definition is just so overly annoying I would like to smack his mother for giving birth, and raising him as well as allowing him to be such an ignorant man as to annoy the crap out of any one person and then him. The phone calls usually start the day before the actual full moon and last a few days. They ask me crazy questions or talk about odd things. Just random outbursts. I try to ignore it and yes them until they get tired of talking and hang up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, uh huh and gotta go, bye.

Then next thing you know, I'm driving down the road and there they are, more of them. The full mooners. Not literally mooning me, just the people that change during this phase. They come out and don't know how to act. Heck, stay home! I am just fine all the time, same person, I do not howl, nor growl hair. I don't reminisce about the old days at midnight and light candles and make a wish, and hey , if you do, more power to you, just don't cut me off driving please. I would like to get to my destination just as safely as you would, because today that woman who cut me off in the little green car, well she was almost toast from the big old 18-wheeler that I was waiting for to pass you full mooner. Oh, well maybe she just didn't know how to drive.

I try to stay home during this time, because you know that saying, the freaks come out at night.

Pieces of me

Have you ever lost yourself? Let me put it this way, have you ever found yourself? Recently I have found out many new, quite possibly old and very lost or just deeply sunken qualities about myself.

Kindness, which I have always have known to have been has never been lost, nor has, my overwhelming personality (they're aren't too many people that don't like it, yes a few, never said directly to me, but a few nonetheless). I call it overwhelming because I am always happy, smiling, vibrant and just fun to be around. I like to enjoy my time, no matter what. Patience, which I have learned to control, I think many of us have over time. I am no angel, but I do have patience and quite a lot of it. When I get right down to it, I am a really good hearted person with all the right stuff as I have been told, lately. Now with that being said, I know I have always been that way, never changed and never will, no reasons to change who I am. I was born and raised this way. I love my mom for making me who I am and my family around me, my environment for conditioning me for who I have become.

My environment, now this is where it becomes a little fuzzy at times. For years in my marriage, yes halfway decent, I can complain, but for the most part, why? Most people end up bitter and stay that way, I feel bad for them, me, nah, move on, forgive and move on. Just don't forget, learn from it! Don't allow it to rule you or run you into the ground, make it a training lesson to prepare you for whats next in life. I lost who I was and became who I thought I was supposed to be. I was unhappy, of course I never showed it. I just went along like nothing was ever wrong in my life, took care of my home, my children and myself, oh my (ex)husband of course. It wasn't until I had my brain surgery and recovered from it was when I realized what was missing; me. We who knew.

Have you ever lost yourself? Let me put it this way, have you ever found yourself? Recently I have found out many new, quite possibly old and very lost or just deeply sunken qualities about myself.

I only had wished that I knew sooner, but so be it. Now I only have to figure out who I was again. Little pieces are starting to shine through little by little, day by day, week by week. Wondering how long this was going to take, I decided to just be me and research everything about everything. My illnesses, along with anything else that may have popped into my head at that given moment, hence a blog had been started. I have arrived with a new me, well old me, new thoughts and clear vision.

There is a song by Ashlee Simpson, "Pieces of Me", amazing how it seems to be just about spot on. As young as she is, it makes me wonder who helped her write the song, did they know what I went through. OH, maybe a mid-life crisis? One never knows, but it's pretty close for me. Truth be told, I was feeling a whole new feeling it seemed. I don't know if I can describe it, but it seemed just happy and free, like the days of Woodstock, sort of. Not so much sharing love, love the one you're with type feeling, just like a load was released or dropped off of my shoulders and I felt a sense of calm. I liked this very much. Although it was a few years before I was actually divorced, I had a grip on who I was again and it was going to take a long time, which I knew.

I wasn't going anywhere any time soon, so time is all I had. Recovery for me was going to be long a tough, not easy by any means. I like myself so much better and just some tweaking is all I needed, well for me anyway. No one else really knew what was going on, because on the outside, like I mentioned before, I was cool as a cucumber and just made it like everything was normal. Why leave pieces of me around to have to pick up to try and put back together if I don't need to? This would make my life that much more complicated and I sure do not want that. Simple, and leave your drama at the movies.

Being a selfish bitch

The word selfish in itself is described in the dictionary as this:
selfish |ˈselfi sh |adjective(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure : I joined them for selfish reasons.

Wow is all I have to say once I read this, right on the nose. I always knew the meaning, but I never once read the actual text. I guess that's because I am not a selfish person. In the last 24-48 hours, I have come across a few people that have fit both ends of the spectrum of this word. Amazed and appalled I am. The one I would have not expected to have come from it came flying out of their mouth like a power surge of pure lightening. Not a bat of an eye lash. "Well I don't care, I want to go!", was the exact wording. This was a full grown adult with children. I am still in shock at this moment, as this person would be the first to come see you in the hospital or be at your grandparent's or parent's funeral just to pay their respects because they have know you all their lives without ever knowing them. I mean, awe, I am in pure awe.

How does one become a selfish bitch? Should I be? Do I posses the power to be one? I do not by any way, shape or form want to get that way ever. I imagine, and I have said this before, if you follow me, I have almost died and I cherish every day that I have. Some days I don't feel like I do as much as other because I feel like I have been run over by a train, but I do. I love my life, my children, my family and friends, dogs and fish too, my home and truck, my yard. I love the sun and the moon. I love it all. The sound of rain while laying in my bed and it trickles down the side of the house. I really do like the snow, it's the cold I can live without. The birds singing in the trees and the sound of the leaves falling in the Autumn winds. It is all so great, but how does someone become so selfish, I still don't understand it.

Maybe they were deprived of things, what things who knows, for a long time or their childhood. Marriage, bad marriage or bad childhood, or a great one of each and were spoiled and think they deserve everything. Not a clue. My life has definitely been eventful to say the least and I am nowhere close to being selfish, granted I love my coffee, hehe, but I would give it away if need be first.
When I was married and my children were babies I always made sure they were bathed, fed and happy prior to myself even thinking about taking a shower or doing anything. I used to get mad at my (ex)husband and say something to him about that all the time. I told him he was a selfish person once they were born, because there were two other people that needed to be thought about before him in this world and before himself, he never understood that. I guess this is part of who I am and some guys and women don't understand that. He (ex) would get up every morning, go to the bathroom, pee, take a shower, go outside and smoke a cigarette, get coffee, then go to work. It drove me nuts! I mean absolutely, mad I would get at him. Myself on the other hand, I would get out of bed and instantly take care of my girls, then myself. Makes me wonder what goes on in people's minds.

Going back, this friend of mine just really made my head spin thinking she has been a different person all these years. I'm not sure what to do? Do I confront them or not? Writing this helps me vent of course, but it doesn't help me know what to do. Usually I just let things play them selves out, but this was really not a good scenario, at all.

On the other hand, there was the second situation which was a younger girl who just hopped in and took the place of another without thinking and was one of the least selfish people I have met in a long time, so that made things quite the offset for me. She made my weekend a great one and I thanked her for it. I have to look at it as the good outweighs the bad, even though my first friend was being a selfish bitch, :)